Where does the time go?

The reflection of one's self is not always the best. When looking back at all that you have accomplished, over came, and then stride for, it can become a little overwhelming. We can see ourselves through others eyes and we can also see who were are through our own. Reflecting back on when this journey started for me, it was one that caused much heartache. There was this story inside of me that I wanted to tell, but never thought it would get real far. My past flowed onto pages and my present life was starting to unfold onto this book. There was never any real doubt that I wouldn't pour my heart and soul into anything I did, I just didn't know if I could. 

Most of the time, I find inspiration in telling others that they can live their dreams, they can accomplish anything they set their hearts to, all the while I live in self-doubt believing that I won't be able to accomplish my own. The first time that I saw one of my books hit the best seller list on Amazon, it was mind blowing. The book was poorly written because I didn't know how to write. (Still not sure I do. Haha.) Yet, people were seeing themselves in these characters that I had made. There's a real truth behind the books. There's a piece of my soul out there, that I never thought anyone would know, yet I wrote it out for the whole world to read. That alone was hard to do. 

When it comes to people reading what I write or just reading my every day nonsense, there's something inside of me that tells me to keep going... Maybe being so hard on myself is what drives me to keep pushing, to do better, to be anything but the person I was. See, we all do bad shit in our lives, and we all have hurt someone somehow some way... I just never understood how hurt I was till the stories came out. The sad part is, half of my family has never read a book I have wrote. (There's 3 currently available.) and some may never read them... That part is what drives me yet keeps me down. You see, there's characters in the book who mimic my family members, my friends, my life, but maybe the real world wrote out in black and white is too hard for them. They don't want to see the woman I became because for some reason they believe that the life they thought I had wasn't what it was. When you start writing out a make believable world with twists and turns, that's exactly what it is. Make believe, but when you feel something from that passion that you bleed out into paper that's where it becomes real. 

Many times, the questions are asked.. Does this character represent someone you know? Did this really happen? In some things the answer is yes, on others no, it's just a story. When I wrote Charming I wanted to tell a love story about a girl who had come from a broken home but love healed her heart... As the story grew so much more came from that. 

Writing this last book for the Charming series is taking a toll on me. Unsure of how it ends, unsure of where the story goes, and will her heart ever truly be whole. My life is wrote into a novel of a beautiful chaotic world... and now I have to find out, what am I truly made of. 

Stay tuned because the best is yet to come. 

This song is going to be on the playlist... because the lyrics ring loud and clear for me. Hope you find that in this journey we are all on, that someone, that something gives you purpose, gives you hope, and above all... GIVES YOU LOVE! 

Is it worth it?

Where the heck do I begin today?

This week we have a lot going on with the books. It's crazy pressure time for me. We have a whole overhaul on all the pages I have. That alone is enough to drive a person into the crazy house, but we shall see how this plays out. When you think of all the things that you have to do as an author it can be very overwhelming. Let alone what you have to do just to keep your normal life on track. That's kind of the fun of all this. Stress isn't fun, but seeing people liking your books, your thoughts, well that alone is worth all this. Isn't that why I started this in the first place? To reach people? To try to tell stories that left you uplifted or wanting more?

(Again, I try to remind myself of why I do this daily..) 

There's going to be days that you fight yourself for what to do with all of this, and there will be days where you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Today, hopefully, there is a light at the end of this long ass tunnel.

This seems to be all I have for today.. Looking forward to sharing more with you very soon!

Peace, Love, and all that Jazz- Dee

It's the most wonderful time of the year

 Today is Christmas Eve, Eve.. Sounds funny when you say that out loud.. Seems weird to be saying it all, actually. It seems like just yesterday we were preparing for the upcoming holidays, but it wasn't this close. The hustle and all that goes into making it a great holiday seems to go by so fast. Holiday parties, buying presents, decorating trees, then in a flash the holidays are over.

Time seems to move by so much faster the older I get. When I was a child it seemed like FOREVER for Christmas to come, and now I keep saying, it's almost Christmas? Where does all of that time go? I remember as a child hearing, Don't grow up too fast, and all I could think of was wanting to grow up fast. It's funny how that happens.. Now, as an adult I hope for more days in a week so that I can get everything done. This week has already flown by, when just last week, I thought I could get everything accomplished this week. Time just always seems to run out..

Finishing up my first round of edits was harder than I thought. I had wanted to be done with them before the winter break came. It happened, but it was a struggle. Writing seems to come more natural to me than actually speaking to others. (I do talk to people, and can be quiet friendly) But, I find writing everything out just seems to go smoother. (Haha, because most of the time I don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing) It lets me get everything off my mind that I feel I can't say aloud. I am sure that I do say many things I shouldn't say aloud, but writing down your thoughts seems to be such an easier task.

When I was a teenager I would write about the holidays, just for myself, everything I had hoped would happen and everything I had wished for would all come magically, on Christmas. Many years, it wasn't about gifts, it was about peace. Peace within myself, peace for my relationship with my parents, and peace within my heart.

Now, I find that writing about the holidays seems to be about making sure that my children are happy, and that they have peace.

Every year is different, last year, I was preparing for what had been one of the worst years of my life to just move on into the new year.. This year I am not waiting for the new year, I am enjoying the every day life.

As the holidays will soon be over I wanted to take a minute and reflect on everything wonderful about the holidays. The food, the family, the friends, and the love. It's my favorite time of the year, and I hope that you have found peace this year too. Remember, it's not always about what's under the tree, but what's in your heart that makes all the magic seem so real.

I wish every one of you a very Happy Holiday! Peace, Love, and all that Jazz- Dee

Monday..

Good Morning to all of you.

I am writing today because I am not sure if I will get the playlist out on Wednesday, but I am hopeful.

I always talk about random things, but today, I thought I would share a little insight into the magical world I am in right now. (Book wise, of course, otherwise I just sound crazy.)

Finishing up the last of the Charmed Destiny book has been a real roller coaster for me. Especially, since I am writing from the male perspective. I am not a guy so I am not even sure I am doing this right. Haha. I think I have the attitude down of the character, but I also wanted to show his softer side. Writing about different worlds, magical places is a lot of fun, but also very hard. You have to remember what each character can do as a god or goddess. Of course, this is all make believe, so they can do just about anything. I wanted to make the characters older also in this book, yet keep them young because I don't use time in this one.

In this story, Sebastian's story, he is faced with things he didn't even know was possible to happen to him. He thought that once the big day was there that everything would be fine, but nothing is fine. That's how life is. You go through your day to day, and then boom, something happens. You either learn to rise above, cope with, or strike back. I believe Sebastian is the strike back type of guy.
Now, obviously Selene is a main character in this, but I brought in many new characters too, and some old ones. I believe in my first book of this series it wasn't exactly how I wanted, but it was my story to write. Believe me, I heard a lot of critics and I wanted to make this one better. I wanted to follow the love story of Selene and Sebastian, but also bring in real life scenarios that could happen. Now, of course, this is fantasy, and these people are not real, but I wanted readers to develop a sense of admiration for certain characters.

When I wrote my second book, my first stand alone, Enchanted Legacy, I wanted to bring a badass chick that had to deal with things that were hard so that at one point she could overcome these tragedies. I wanted to finish the Charming series empowering the young mind that no matter what life throws at you, you can do this. I want readers to walk away from books saying if they can do it, so can I.

Again, I have heard the critics, I have heard the put downs, I have heard everything bad thing that was said about my first book ever wrote. It was hard to hear, but I wanted to push myself that much more to become a better writer. In no way, shape or form, am I the best at any of this.. Heck, I am not even sure if people still read my ramblings, but if just one person does, then I feel like I have accomplished my goal. If just one person reads one of my books, and walks away thinking that she or he can be anything they want, then that alone is all I need.

When I started writing I wrote for myself. I wrote to feel and put down emotions onto paper in so many ways. (I use a computer and type now, but old school writing is fun too.) I kept in the back of my mind that nobody would read what I wrote, and that it didn't matter I did it for myself. Then I sold copies of my books, and that felt great. What I think people don't understand is that when others bash your hard work, and when they get the chance to ridicule you, they take it. That's something you, as an author, have to get used to taking too.

I will never be the best, I will never be the multi-selling author that others are, I just want to be me. I think that's why I push for people to believe in themselves, and for you to live your dreams. I have the chance to do that on a daily basis, but it doesn't seem to always be easy. When you do anything that you love and you turn into a career, it won't be. I never thought it would.

On a daily basis I ask myself, why am I doing this? Does anyone even care? Hell, do I even care anymore. I find myself questioning my thoughts, my writing, my critics, my fans.. Then I stop. Yes, I care, and I care more than I should at times. I want to tell stories, I want to bring happiness to others. I think that's always been my main goal. Happiness. Bringing a story to life is my way of doing that.

I know that this all sounds very odd from me, when I usually promote the believe in yourself idea. But, with every good day comes a bad day, and turning that bad day around into a good day is my main goal. If you are striving for a goal don't give up! Heck, I know that's easier said than done, because I struggle too. We are human, we aren't gods. (Haha, I just had to throw that in.)

Keep pushing, keep fighting, keep being you, because in the end the only person that will love you, is you. If you have a goal, a dream, make it a reality.

Thanks for always taking the time to read my ramblings, and being so amazing to me.

You encourage me every single day! (I hope I encourage you in that same way.)

Peace, Love, and all that Jazz- Dee

P.S. If you didn't know I do have a website that lets you in on a few of my things I have shared across social media. Feel free to check it out too. AuthorDeeKing.weebly.com 

Thank you...

 Thank you to everyone who got my book for free this past week. I made it into the top 500 list on amazon for Fantasy. That was a fantastic feeling. I appreciate it very much.

Let's see what we have for this week...

Not as much as I would like, but just a little bit of news.

I am trying to work on the ending of Charmed Destiny, to get to last and final book for the Charming series. WOW! When I first set out to do this, I never thought it was going to be this hard. I am finding that it's not as easy as I would have liked. But, with anything that you do, you just have to keep trying. I feel like I lost focus after watching my second book I ever wrote not do as well, as we had all expected. Then I was reminded that nothing happens over night. This is a long journey, and if you are a writer your journey is never over.

I find myself slipping down the rabbit hole at times (Alice in wonderland reference there. Haha.)
and to push myself, I think why did I start all of this to begin with?
I started this journey because I wanted to share stories, I wanted to empower others, so they could empower the ones around them. We all have dreams, and we lose sight of those dreams at times, but I never wanted to give up.

Soon, I will start working on the playlist for this book. I am not sure what direction it's going to go in. Love story, heavy metal, rock, ballads, this is just the start of what I have listened to while writing this book. I always want the music I chose to tell a story from my story. That's why I find the playlist important. I also think I am going to actually list the playlist this time in the back of the book, so others can listen and see if they figure out the emotions of the book.

That seems to be all I have for today. Again, I thank you for all your support! YOU ROCK!
 Peace, Love, and all that Jazz- Dee