Why the hell do we bother?

Blogging... It's supposed to be the way to get people to hear your stories, to hear your words of wisdom, or better yet, to read what you are selling.

When I started blogging all I knew was that I was just going to talk about the most random bull-shit and if people read what I wrote, awesome, if not... Well... Then I guess that would be something I had to deal with. It's been literally months since I have blogged. When going through things in your life you either share these issues or you don't. I chose not too. Maybe because I'm a private person in some way, or maybe because there wasn't a way for me to not sound like I was pissed off all the time. Either way... I didn't blog.

Lately, there's been a change in me.... No longer being the kid on the sideline, no longer being the door mat that I have felt I had been for so long. Something inside of me decided no more. I hide behind a screen, I wrote about my issues in my books, and then sat back and just laid there taking whatever may come. In my life, I have never claimed to be perfect, hell, even great at anything, but the common misunderstanding from others is that I didn't care how they treated me. It does, it did, but now... Now, 'they' can say whatever they would like, because honestly my give it a shit meter broke.

People, friends, even family can make you  doubt yourself every single day. Whether it's about my career I chose, my parenting, my marriage, you name it, people have an opinion. Often, I listened to all of their opinions of me, and let it rule my heart. The outside said I was fine, the inside cried... No longer could I stand by and let this keep going on.

Raising two daughters, there's a part of me, that wants to show them that the world is your oyster. Take it by storm and do whatever you can to be the best person you could be... But how could I teach that when I was letting people walk all over me and just saying, "Well, that's just how they are." Please! You are an asshole and you treat people like that because it made you feel better about yourself. No more for me... NO MORE!

I am on a journey of getting healthy, inside and out. If that means having to take a step back from the ones who have hurt me or ever made me feel not good enough... Then BYE, Felicia. (Haha)
There has to be a point in our lives where stand up for ourselves, stand for something. No longer letting the 'naysayers' get the best of you. No longer letting the ones who continually hurt you do so. This has to be something we find within ourselves. People turn to all kinds of things to heal their broken hearts. Alcohol, drugs, food, you name it... We let it heal us for that short time. Hell, people turn to religion thinking that will solve all their problems, and maybe for some it does. Just not me.

Somewhere along this journey you have to stand up for yourself. You have to fight the fight even if no one is on your side. Because you are your own worst enemy at times.


So, now that I have "bitched" about the why's of why I haven't been myself, it's time to share the realization of what my life is truly like. I am overweight, 30 something year old woman, who has always put others first, because that's what I thought I should do. Like I said before at some point in your life you have to take a stand for YOU! That doesn't mean you stop caring for others, it means you start caring about yourself too. This journey we call life has many roads, often we take the one that everyone else takes.. Why lead when we can just follow the sheep? I don't want to be the sheep anymore, I want to be the WOLF! I want to be the leader of my own life, and that's exactly what is going to happen. If you are struggling in your life, then believe me, you are not alone. Every day can be struggle, but if we take the chance to follow the road less traveled then maybe we will find out what we really are made of. Often we let others cut us down, cut us so severely that we don't know if we will bleed out or not.... But somewhere along the way, we have to decide to stop covering up the scars of their words and their actions, stop putting a band-aid over it and let that cut bleed... Till you say ENOUGH!

When people take a stand for something they believe in, as in themselves, you will see that those who have hurt you, will eventually turn away from you. If they can't make you feel like they did then they will turn, they always do.(These are the sheep trying to be wolves.)
We are often taught to turn the other cheek, but sometimes, you have to stand there and take it. Then you have to walk away with your head held high knowing that you no longer would be their punching bag so to speak.

We have to believe in ourselves. That's the first step. If you want to change who you are, then this is they key to open the door. Find out what you really are made of.
As the saying goes.. If you fall for everything you will never stand for anything. Stand TALL, Stand Proud, and be all means.... Be YOU! Be proud of how far you have came, be proud of what you have endured and let the scars show.. That's who you are, that's what makes you, you!

This may actually be the longest blog post I have ever done.. But this was something that I needed to say. I often tell others that they can be themselves, but never did that for myself. Today, that changes.... For me, for you...

Thank you for reading this and taking the time out of your day. If you are struggling with where you are, then make the decision to change and what you let happen in your life. Be proud of who you are.
-Dee-

It's been crazy...

It always seems that the first of the year is crazy for me. Trying to get back into the swing of things, seems to be a little bit of a harder task then I had imagined.

I often sit back and wonder why I even bother doing this.. Why do I write on a blog, a book, a page, etc.. when I feel like I may never have anything to accomplish by doing those things. It's the little insecure thoughts that race through my mind, telling me.. I'm no good, give up.

But, I won't. I fought to be here today, and have been fighting for myself for a long time. It was never about what I could accomplish for others, but for myself. We all go through times in our lives when we may not feel like we are worthy. You may even be feeling how I feel at times, but don't pay attention to all the drama. Believe in yourself, is the only motto I can chant. If I don't believe in myself, then who is going too? It starts with one purpose, one goal, and you build to that goal to follow your dreams.

Did I ever think I would be a best selling author? No way!
Did I ever think that people would listen or read my words of random bullshit? Nope.
Did I do all this because I wanted to do it for myself? Hell Yes!

It doesn't matter how many times I get knocked down, I keep getting back up. I have too. Quitting was never the option, even when I really felt like I should. That's not who I am, and nor do I want to be.

Blogging for me seems to be more about an open letter to others. What I like, what I hate, trying to stay positive.. I read the other day how I am supposed to run a blog to make it successful, etc.. BUT I felt like that's not what I wanted. It was never going to be like that for me. I just wanted to share my thoughts, and ideas, and maybe even, share my dreams with the world. It never will be about the fame, the money (there is none lol) and or the title that goes along with being an author. I just wanted to find myself through this journey.

Everyone needs a little push sometimes, everyone needs to be reminded that they are loved. (I know I certainly do.) That's why I started blogging and called it randomness. Hearing about my books may not be that exciting, reading about the music I love, may be exhausting.. But every now and then I want to remind others that they are not alone in their fight for their dreams. When you feel defeated, you should know, that someone else is in your corner. I am always going to PUSH for people to know they have a purpose, that they are cared for.. That's just something I feel I gotta do.

So, if you are feeling like you are taking one step forward and two steps back, don't fret, I understand your feelings. In the end, we all just have to keep pushing. Pushing ourselves to be better, to keep working towards our goals, to keep climbing up that mountain, whatever the cost!

(P.S. I've got your back when you need someone in your corner!)

I shall leave you with some random words of wisdom...

It's not about the who, the where, the why, it's about how high you want to go. Climb that mountain, slay that beast, be positive that you can do anything.

Peace, Love, and all that Jazz- Dee

Thank you...

 Thank you to everyone who got my book for free this past week. I made it into the top 500 list on amazon for Fantasy. That was a fantastic feeling. I appreciate it very much.

Let's see what we have for this week...

Not as much as I would like, but just a little bit of news.

I am trying to work on the ending of Charmed Destiny, to get to last and final book for the Charming series. WOW! When I first set out to do this, I never thought it was going to be this hard. I am finding that it's not as easy as I would have liked. But, with anything that you do, you just have to keep trying. I feel like I lost focus after watching my second book I ever wrote not do as well, as we had all expected. Then I was reminded that nothing happens over night. This is a long journey, and if you are a writer your journey is never over.

I find myself slipping down the rabbit hole at times (Alice in wonderland reference there. Haha.)
and to push myself, I think why did I start all of this to begin with?
I started this journey because I wanted to share stories, I wanted to empower others, so they could empower the ones around them. We all have dreams, and we lose sight of those dreams at times, but I never wanted to give up.

Soon, I will start working on the playlist for this book. I am not sure what direction it's going to go in. Love story, heavy metal, rock, ballads, this is just the start of what I have listened to while writing this book. I always want the music I chose to tell a story from my story. That's why I find the playlist important. I also think I am going to actually list the playlist this time in the back of the book, so others can listen and see if they figure out the emotions of the book.

That seems to be all I have for today. Again, I thank you for all your support! YOU ROCK!
 Peace, Love, and all that Jazz- Dee

Hump Day

Any of you ever wake up and think, This day is already on my list of bad ones, but then something changes.. You suddenly find out that it's not as bad as what you believe it may be. Then you feel a little softer around the edges. Well, that's how my day started today.

I am now ready for whatever is headed my way.

Yesterday, we talked about bands, and today we shall do that again. Also, we will talk about SWAG! No, I am not talking about your normal swag I mean as gifts, etc.

First things first, on my social media outlets today we are promoting what other sale. Whether it is cutting hair, nail designs, heck, even candles. We are promoting you, today. I wanted to give back to the people who follow me and help me throughout this journey. It seems only fair. I enjoy helping others, and when I get the chance, I try to do what I can. This is just one small step. Hopefully, there will be many ways I can repay you all back for what you do for me.

Second, MUSIC! We discuss ALL the time, how I can't live without tunes. That's not a lie. I couldn't write without it. I have been searching for Indie music groups on Twitter, and wow has the call be answered. I want to be honest, and I want to be polite. BUT I also want to be real. Not every band is my cup of tea, per say, but that doesn't mean that they aren't good.
For today, I will tell you about an Indie group, and then a big name group.

Puppet Rebellion is going to take the Indie world by storm. I just feel it. They were the first band that I ever listened to that was truly Indie, and they were the first band that made real contact with me. I enjoy their music. Definitely, check them out.

AWOLNATION, Man, I can't get enough of these guys!
If you know the song, Sail, then you and I can be friends.. If not, you must listen. They have a new single out, and man oh man, that song is amazeballs. Yes, you read that right. I said that word.

I would post videos today, but I am going to leave that till the weekend.

Alright, so today we have SWAG and two more bands for you to check out! What are you waiting for? GO! GO! GO!
Tell them I sent you. I have no idea why, but hey, at least they will know we all care, right. Isn't that what the Indie world is all about?

Caring is sharing. Haha. Talk to you soon, Dee

Did you see?

I posted 2 video's for you all! Both are song's that I have used for my playlist in my book.. 
With the book being released very, very soon, I wanted to start sharing music and songs that inspired me. When I started this journey I would listen to music for hours, and hours feeling the emotion from the song's for different scene's I wrote. I will soon be starting on the 2nd book in the trilogy. Now, I will need to find new music, but as the date approaches I wanted to give you my playlist in a FUN way!!
-Dee-

New blog

 I started a new blog on wordpress. I am hoping that all of you will follow me there! I have been unable to get my blogger account to show comments, or let most of you interact with me. I apologize for this, I had no clue. So please follow me through this journey that you have stuck with me so far! I hope that you all just bear with me through the learning curves of this ride. Charming randomness is the new blog, and Dee King is my name on wordpress, too. I really hope you all will stick with me! I promise to bring more teaser photo's and playlist's that you have come to expect from me!! Thank you so much!
 DK